Quite often, people have no idea of being cheated on; others feel that something is going wrong but still doubt if they should believe their ears, eyes, and intuition. But once we find strong arguments in favor of infidelity, we have to ask ourselves: “Can I forgive the person who betrayed me? What should I do now when I am suffering enormously and all my hopes have crashed down?”
Sooner or later, 25% of presumably successful couples hear a dreadful word “betrayal.” According to researchers, however, this amount is considerably underestimated. Yet, American psychologists believe that there are different types of betrayal. So, before you decide to break up with a partner, try to find out what type of betrayal you are dealing with.
Betrayal may be different
This person is always looking for adventures. Be it a conference in an office, a situation on a business trip, in a bar with friends or even on the way to a shop. These people will always find a way to diversify the routine with an affair.
Sometimes, it may seem that constant cheaters are collecting human hearts. You may threaten to divorce them, to punish severely, argue with them in public; but this will hardly be effective. For such people, it’s very hard to change their pattern of behavior. There are two options: accept the fact that you aren’t the only one for him/her or break up.
It may be not that easy to define that you are dealing with a constant cheater; yet, there are some signs that you are being fooled. Firstly, constant cheaters have a ready reply to any of your tricky questions, but they mix up the answers. Secondly, such people change their behavior when an attractive stranger appears in a company. Besides, they tend to come late from work since a boss is always asking them to do a report when everyone is leaving.
It often happens that all people around except for you know that your partner is cheating. If you have doubts, why not ask your partner’s colleagues or acquaintances: it may happen that new information will be a revelation for you.
One-night relationship enthusiasts
This type of cheaters isn’t prone to a lasting “cheating” relationship, but they will easily jump into an available person’s bed. It may be a person they got acquainted with or drank too much at an office party. These people aren’t looking for adventures intentionally, but once they have such a possibility, they can’t resist the temptation and easily give up under the “aggressor’s” pressure. It’s quite hard to catch these cheaters red-handed; likewise, don’t think that they will always be honest with you.
An eye for an eye
Another common phenomenon is a betrayal becoming a means of revenge. In this case, it doesn’t matter if a cheater has any feelings for the third party since it’s anger that moves them on. Those who consider a betrayal a revenge aim at responding in the same way to their partners’ actions. Yet, any other partner’s fault is also likely to make them cheat. Strangely enough, sometimes partners can take revenge for imaginary faults. Or such people may cheat just because they believe they deserve something “better.”
A long-lasting relationship
Some people prefer affairs that may last for months or even years. Undoubtedly, they get something from this relationship, something they believe you can’t give them. Thus, a question arises: why don’t these cheaters leave a partner if they have an “alternative” family? There are several reasons for this. Here belongs the risk of alimony payments, religious beliefs, or a fear of losing children in case of a divorce.
Others are sure they can love both partners simultaneously. There are also people who believe that an “auxiliary” relationship is of no harm to the main union. The question is whether our partner has the same opinion. Nevertheless, many partners prefer to pretend they know nothing about their sweetheart’s double life. If you aren’t ready to risk the privileges you are enjoying at the moment, you can live with a cheating partner of this type for a long time.
Victims of a situation
Unfortunately, sometimes our partners become victims of violence or disrespectful attitude on the behalf of the third party of a love triangle. It may happen that they are forced to engage in a sexual relationship. Perhaps, they are frightened or have no force to resist. If they haven’t willingly engaged in a sexual act, they need support, not condemnation.
The point is that betrayal isn’t defined by physical intimacy only. Our partners may never engage in physical contact with another person preferring to keep the distance. The feelings may arise and fade quickly, or smolder for years keeping alive the fire of emotional betrayal.
A person who is in a beloved person’s thoughts and dreams is slowly substituting for you in their future. You see, it turns out that while physically being with you, a partner is far away with another person on their mind. Even if an affair is developing on the Internet, chats, or an online game having nothing to do with reality, it may cause real pain.
It goes without saying that we can’t fully control others’ feelings, thoughts, and actions. Yet, it would be a great idea to discuss this issue at the beginning of a relationship. Discuss what you consider a betrayal. May your sweetheart communicate with a colleague in a chat? May you give your friend a lift home after a meeting? What would you do if you feel that you like another person very much?
Would you give me a piece of advice?
To sum up, sooner or later everyone in a lasting relationship has a chance to cheat on their partner. No one has canceled the laws of physical attraction between the sexes. However, we are human creatures who can and should control their animal instincts. Thus, the best decision is to trust your partner and give them enough freedom and private space. If a person really loves you and cares about your feelings, they will never hurt you intentionally. Even in case of a betrayal, there is always a way back if a partner really regrets his/her mistake.