We tend to consider that charming people have an innate gift, and very often we feel envious of those who charm others with a smile or nod only. Can this art be mastered? We suggest five steps that may help you to become a charming person.
How do charming people behave?
Bet you know such people: they attract attention and inspire respect effortlessly. Charming people are always the center of attention and they make friends wherever they go. They have something that makes others want to spend with them as much time as possible. We also would like to have this “something.”
The good news is that we can develop this feature. Charm isn’t innate, it isn’t transmitted genetically. It’s a sum of several factors that make a person more attractive and pleasant for others. We aren’t talking about your innate features right now but your habits and attitude that can be changed. This would make you one of those favorites you were envious of yesterday.
Use your body language
Have you ever heard the phrase: “They have filled all space?” Yes, you are right, it is typically said about charming people. There is a simple explanation for this: they behave in a way that makes them more conspicuous. They attract gazes and keep them fixed. Even if you try very hard to distract from such people, you will be still drawn to them.
Why does it happen so? Perhaps, because of godlike beauty and an ideal body? No way. Of course, your appearance may help you, but it’s not making you a charming person. The core point is not the way your body looks, but how you use it. Charming people “involve” their bodies in the process of communication. This attracts attention and makes a person more interesting and appealing.
If you are using gestures during a talk, you can illustrate a story emphasizing necessary moments. Show what you are talking about. Telling about hugs, make a circle with your hands; talking about depression, drop your shoulders, and feebly hang your arms down; illustrating a story about an argument, raise your clenched fists. These tricks make words more real. Brief concise gestures like claps make words more expressive.
Apart from gestures, use mimics, too. A warm and sincere smile makes an addressee relax and feel happy. A person understands that you like them. Accompany a smile with visual contact lasting a bit more than 2-3 seconds.
Nod while listening – this will make it obvious that you are interested in a talk. Three slight nods are perceived as words “It’s very interesting, continue, please.” If your face expresses emotions corresponding with your words, this makes you more expressive and charming in your interlocutor’s eyes, he wants to share your emotions, join you. A stone face expression pushes off, a person seems distant, arrogant, cold, and not kind. It’s the opposite of a charming personality.
Find things in common
A charming person makes you feel that you’ve been acquainted for ages despite the fact you’ve just met. You may have a different lifestyle and interests, but yet, you feel you have something in common. How do they do that? Here is the secret: they focus on the things uniting you.
It may be a similar life experience, a common interest in some topic, even if it’s the same song heard on the radio or the same opinion about an issue that may be of minor importance. If you want to get in contact with a person, find things in common. The more of them we find, the easier we find them out, and the more joy we express because of this, the sooner will a feeling of trust and mutual understanding arise. When we feel that a person is similar to us, we automatically get drawn to them and want to communicate as much as possible.
How to do this?
To find things in common, you have to listen very attentively. While listening, charming people often insert words like “yes,” “definitely,” “I understand you.” It lets an interlocutor feel that they are accepted and their experience matters. We like people making us feel such emotions.
If charming people disagree with us, in the first place, they emphasize things they agree about. They show that an interlocutor’s opinion isn’t worse than their own: “It was nice of you to notice that,” “I see your point,” “Quite fair.” Consequently, if these words are followed by an inevitable “no,” it isn’t perceived as something very unpleasant since you understand that a person has listened to you and admitted your right to think as you wish. In a dispute, a charming person always tries to underline that you have a lot in common despite the things you disagree on.
Don’t forget to show initiative
It’s one of the charming people’s distinctive features. They don’t wait until something happens but go and act even if they aren’t sure about success. That’s why they are so attractive: we admire those who easily take responsibility and show they believe in us.
The majority of people tend to wait for an appropriate moment and analyze for a long time before they do something or express their opinion. Charming people confidently move forward as if they were born for this. Imagine yourself at a party where you know nobody. Would you wait shyly by the wall to be introduced to somebody? A charming person will be the first to make an acquaintance. For them, it’s like a golden chance to meet a friend they haven’t known before. They will help other people to get acquainted and find interesting topics for conversation.
Detecting charming people
A charming person won’t be shyly listening to a conversation fearing to make a remark. They will start a talk themselves, asking questions, and listening to answers with a genuine interest. They can change the flow of conversation easily just saying “Your words reminded me of the case when…” Their speech will be filled with attention-catching phrases like “Do you see what I mean?” “Bet you know this feeling” or, “I think everyone has a similar story.” Such phrases create a feeling of belonging together.
In a company, charming people’s voice is louder, their gestures and mimics complement their speech, that’s how they fill the space. Their confident behavior has nothing to do with aggression or a desire to dominate. The essence of being charming is in displaying interest towards others not to play a leading role.
We like such people because they make us feel great. Moreover, we start treating ourselves better, which is a truly priceless gift. How do they do it? Charming people genuinely admire others since they find something beautiful and unique in every person. They laugh at our jokes, are happy for our achievements, and express it with words, infecting you with a smile and optimism. Believing in us they help us to believe in ourselves. They give all attention to the last drop. They listen and ask questions.
All in all, charming people spread positive constructive energy. Their optimism and belief in the fact that you are a unique stunning personality make them irresistible for us. Because of this feeling, we are looking for communication with them. Being charming may seem a rare magical gift, but it’s a question of habits, behavior, and attitude to others.